


Regarding Dean

by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes)



Series: Regarding Dean [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adult Baby Dean Winchester, Age Play Little Dean Winchester, Baby Dean Winchester, Caretaker Castiel (Supernatural), Caretaker Sam Winchester, Cas and Dean have only an age play relationship so far in this, Crying Dean Winchester, Cute!Dean, Little!Dean, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, baby!dean - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22091803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronEyes/pseuds/NotfunnyDean
Summary: After Dean got hit with the forgetting-spell from that nasty witch, he can remember everything that happened and… he wishes he could have that again. Not the forgetting part… but being so free and happy.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Regarding Dean [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735993
Comments: 50
Kudos: 256





	Regarding Dean

**Author's Note:**

> Huh yeah. This is something new from me.
> 
> Hope you like it. 
> 
> Maybe I could do a few more parts of this, if people are interested. -> Feel free to send me prompts for this on [tumblr](https://notfunnydean.tumblr.com)

“Are you sure?” Sam asks again and Dean rolls his eyes. His head is hurting still from the spell, but also because Sam can’t stop asking him questions.

“Yes I am. Can we stop talking about it now?” Dean growls and drives a bit faster. He really wants to arrive at the bunker already, so he can hide in his room and get away from Sam and his very embarrassing questions.

“No we can’t. Dean. You said you don’t remember any of the last three days. Rowena seemed like she told you something important. Maybe we should figure out what she told you.” Sam says and he turns Dean’s music down.

Dean is too tired to argue with Sam over the music and… he actually is glad the music is only softly in the background now. He shakes his head.

Maybe the curse is somehow still in his system? 

“Sammy.” Dean almost whines and he doesn’t even recognize his own voice. He can see how surprised Sam is and Dean is glad when he sees a gas stop. Baby’s wheels are screeching, when Dean stops and he is out of the car, before Sam can say anything.

“Need to take a leak!” Dean says and is gone.

Dean rounds the gas station and takes a deep breath. Sam would for sure fuel Baby and while Dean pretends to use the bathroom, he just tries to calm himself down. He still feels weird and he kinda lied to Sam.

He remembers. Not everything and really not what Rowena told him, but he remembers how happy and carefree he was. Sure he was scared when he realized that he was going to forget everything, but…

Dean shakes his head.

“I want a break.” Dean mumbles quietly. He loves hunting, he likes saving people, but he… he just wants some time for himself, too. He wants to watch Scooby Doo again or… _whatever._

Dean strokes through his hair and takes another deep breath. When he was forgetting everything, he didn’t have any responsibility and he liked that. He liked being just free and following Sam like a duckling.

Isn’t that fucked up?

Dean walks back to Baby and just like he thought Sam had already fuled her, paid and he even got some chocolates. Dean smiles a bit and takes one, before he stuffs it into his mouth.

“Sorry.” Dean mumbles, ashamed for his outburst earlier and again Sam seems so surprised. Normally Dean doesn’t apologize for stuff like that, but he feels as if his emotions are all over the place.

“Let’s drive home.” Sam says and Dean nods while he starts the car.

  


*

  


It’s weird in the bunker. Dean feels restless here but at the same time he is very glad for the safety of his own room. His mind is still a bit fuzzy and he aches for something he doesn’t even understand.

“Dean?”

“Door is open.” Dean says, coughing slightly and sits up. Somehow his shirt scratches over his skin and he feels as if his skin is too tight anyway. Castiel walks in, looking very worried, but at least he is smiling a little bit too.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel says and Dean nods. He has a headache, but he hopes Castiel doesn’t see it or he would just heal it. Somehow he feels like he deserves a little bit of pain. Castiel smiles a bit wider.

“Sam told me we are out of groceries, so I thought we could buy some?” Castiel asks and Dean gets up from the bed. He gets one of his flannels and sighs, because at least that is a little more soft. 

Lately Castiel seems to find some joy in getting food for their meals, so Dean wouldn’t say no to him. Maybe it even helps him clear his head, he had also missed Castiel the last days and he kinda wishes Castiel would’ve been there when he forgot his life.

“Sure, I don’t have anything to do anyway.” Dean mutters and for a tiny second he almost goes over to Castiel and hugs him. Before he does that, he is out of the door, with Castiel following him. 

“Maybe we could do some burgers tonight.” Castiel says, when they walk into the garage and Dean has to grin at that. Castiel loves burgers and while Dean does so too, he always takes a little more time to prepare some really good ones for the angel.

“Sure, I think…” Dean starts and he doesn’t look where he is going, so he hits his head right on one of the bars that are in the bunker. It makes an odd sound and Dean goes quiet. He barely registers that normally he would curse or something, instead he holds his fingers against his forehead.

“Dean?” Castiel asks, who stopped right next to him. Dean looks up into blue and caring eyes and almost tears up. Instead he just tries to shrug it off and walks the rest of the way to his car.

“I’m fine.” Dean mutters and while he always lies about that, it never felt more heavy than this time. He is not fine. Not at _all._

“It’s okay to be hurt.” Castiel says, but Dean huffs. He can’t show any weakness, his lifestyle never really allowed that. Dean carefully touches his forehead again anyway. This will for sure turn into a pretty bump later. 

“Did Sam tell you what happened during the case?” Dean asks carefully, when he finally manages to get Baby on the street. He is kinda afraid about the answer to be honest. Maybe Sam told Castiel how embarrassing he was.

“He did. He mentioned it was a rather bad memory spell and that you suffered a lot.” Castiel explains and Dean can almost feel how the blood rushes to his face. Great, so Sammy basically told Castiel he was a pussy.

“Yeah, well, kinda sucked. Losing my memories.” Dean coughs slightly and hopes that is everything about the topic, but it doesn’t seem like Castiel is finished talking about this. Like always.

“But Sam also told me you were happy. He even explained how excited you were about a children’s tv show?” Castiel asks and Dean almost hits the brakes at that. Scooby Doo is not a _‘children only’_ show but Dean still hates to talk about this.

“I kinda had no worries back then. Sure losing my memories, that hit me hard, but I forgot that after a while too and just… lived carefree.” Dean explains slowly. He hopes that he doesn’t tell too much but there is this longing in his chest again. 

“I understand.” Castiel says and looks out of the window. Dean shrugs to himself, because maybe that really is the end of it and he focuses on parking Baby safely in the parking lot. He didn’t even take a list of what they need with him.

“Sam told me to get him some fruits.” Castiel says, when they are in the shop and Dean nods to him, while he pushes the cart forward. The angel could look for the healthy stuff, while Dean looks for some the stuff he needs for the burgers. He also gets some beer for himself and then sneaks some sweets in.

Castiel is still nowhere to be seen and Dean sighs while he waits. Couldn’t be that hard to get a few… green things, right?

“Mom can I get one of these?”

Dean looks up when he sees a small boy tugging at his mother’s sleeve. He holds up a stuffed animal and Dean ducks is head, when he realizes that he almost hold his hand out towards the bear. 

_Fuck._

He is so fucked.

Dean doesn’t know what is happening, the witch must have done something else to him. He can’t explain it otherwise. He watches ashamed how the mother agrees and pays for the teddy bear.

The little boy seems so happy and he presses the stuffed bear against his face. Dean wonders if that would’ve been his life, if Mary didn’t make this stupid deal. And now she is back and still… doesn’t want Dean.

_“You are a grown man and not my little Dean. My little boy.”_

But what if he… wants…

Dean shakes his head again, focussing on his cart, even though his view turns a bit blurry. He hopes Castiel would finally be back so they could leave.

“Dean?”

And there he is. Dean turns around and he sees the angel standing there with some paper bags, filled with fruits and probably vegetables as well. For a tiny second, Dean wants to run over to him and hug his angel.

He doesn’t.

“You got lost?” Dean asks and he has to cough slightly to he can get the words out. Castiel tilts his head to one side and then frowns even harder. Somehow Dean feels like he is the one lost right now.

“No. I couldn’t decide on carrots or asparagus.” Castiel finally says and Dean nods. He hates both anyway, so why would it matter what he thinks about that. Dean can’t help himself, he looks at the little boy again.

“Okay, ready to go home?” Dean asks, swallowing the lump in his throat down. Castiel puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder and then walks over to the cashier. Dean doesn’t know what the touch means, but it had felt good.

Luckily enough it takes them only a few minutes to pay everything and before Dean knows it they are back outside on the way to Baby. It had started to rain while they got their stuff and Dean’s mood only gets worse.

He tries to get his keys out of his pocket, so he can open Baby, trying to hold onto his bags at the same time, when the keys slip through his fingers and fall right into a puddle. Dean groans loudly and when he leans down he hits his head again. This time on Baby.

Dean is so surprised by that, that he falls on his ass into the same puddle as his keys, the groceries around him in the dirt and for some reason _that’s it._

He has enough.

“Dean?”

Castiel sounds worried, when Dean breaks loudly into tears, but Dean doesn’t even register that anymore.

  


*

  


“What do you mean?” Sam seems almost hysterical when Castiel flies himself and Dean back to the bunker. Dean is still crying loudly and that only adds even more stress to Sam’s mood.

“I told you. He already seemed stressed when we drove to the market but when he fell, he just started crying.” Castiel says calmly and he just sits down on Dean’s bed, the hunter firmly on his lap.

Dean holds onto Castiel’s trenchcoat like his life depends on it and Sam is pacing through the room now. Castiel doesn’t concentrate on the… _younger_ Winchester, instead he strokes over Dean’s wet hair.

“I told you! The curse isn’t broken, maybe we made some mistake. I should probably call Rowena and… what is he doing?” Sam sound so surprised at the end of his tirade that Castiel has to smile.

Dean is sucking his thumb and finally his crying calms down. Castiel shushes him anyway. 

“Sam. The curse is not running through Dean’s body anymore. Your brother is… I think he is choosing this, even though it may be unconsciously.” Castiel whispers, so he doesn’t disturb Dean. 

Sam opens his mouth but no words come out.

“Sammy.” Dean mumbles quietly and Castiel strokes over the boy’s cheek, because that is what Dean is right now. Just a small and scared boy. 

“Why would he do this?” Sam asks, he is not trying to sound mean, Castiel can hear that, but he sounds still pretty confused. Dean suckles quietly and Castiel can’t help but press a short kiss to Dean’s temple. He sees that tiny smile that follows.

“I think he just wants to be happy and loved.” Castiel whispers quietly and he chuckles when Dean starts to play with his tie. 

“He was always loved.” Sam says but when Castiel looks back to him, he sees that Sam looks almost guilty. Castiel shakes his head a bit, his voice still light, so Dean wouldn’t understand that they are arguing about him.

“Of course, but not like this. Your mother died way too soon in both your lives but you were raised with a lot of love.” Castiel says and he puts Dean down next to him on the bed. Dean whines quietly at that, but at least he doesn’t start to cry again.

“Because Dean raised me…” Sam whispers and Castiel nods. He takes off his tie and gives it to Dean, who promptly takes it into his mouth. Sam and Castiel both snort at the same time. Dean always had that oral fixation.

“I think the curse showed him, that the world doesn’t end the second he sits back and relaxes and he… you told me he was happy, being so carefree.” Castiel says, while he now finally takes a step back. Dean is so focused on the tie that he doesn’t realize it.

“Yeah, he was… adorable. Similar to the way he is now, but also very different.” Sam whispers and Castiel nods. The angel isn’t really sure how much love Dean would allow himself, but he would try to make Dean feel loved right now.

Tomorrow Dean would for sure be angry again.

“He needs some sleep.” Castiel says and he can see how the boys eyelashes flutter every few seconds. The four hours Dean normally gets aren’t nearly enough, but of course Dean would never agree to that statement. 

“So what? We aren’t fixing him?” Sam asks and Castiel shakes his head, still smiling, while he also gets out of his trenchcoat, putting it over the chair that is in Dean’s room.

“There is nothing that has to be fixed.” Castiel answers and while Sam is nodding, Castiel isn’t sure how much of that he really understood. Sometimes Humans are still very confusing to him.

“Hmhm.” Dean makes around the tie and Castiel focuses back on him. Dean always was his charge and Castiel wouldn’t take one step away from him. He is just so glad that he was the one being with Dean at the time. He is glad Dean is safe.

“It’s okay sweetheart, you can sleep in a few minutes.” Castiel whispers and he can’t help but sound so fond of Dean already. It doesn’t matter to him which age Dean chooses, he would stay with him. Sulky 3-year-old or sulky 40-year-old.

“I think… I think I will do some research.” Sam stammers and Castiel chuckles. Maybe that is a good idea, so Sam could collect his thoughts first. While Castiel knows that Sam would never intentionally hurt Dean, sometimes it happens anyway.

“We will see you in the morning.” Castiel says and when he turns around, Sam is already gone. Dean is still pretty happy with the tie alone, but the view almost breaks Castiel’s heart. 

“Dean?” Castiel asks and to his surprise Dean’s eyes actually focus on him. Castiel smiles and he almost imagines that Dean shyly smiles up at him as well. Castiel has no idea how to go from here.

Dean is still wet, his clothes ruined and now the whole bed is covered in muck and dirt as well. Even some dirty splatters are on Dean’s face, covering the adorable freckles. His boy must be cold, Castiel realizes and that’s what gets him going.

“Okay sweetheart, how about I clean you first and then we sleep in my bed hm? Yours is pretty filthy now.” Castiel says, but Dean doesn’t answer. He just keeps staring up at Castiel, green eyes big but trusting.

Castiel reaches for him and to his amazement, Dean holds out one hand as well, the other one still holding tightly onto the tie. Castiel presses another kiss to Dean’s cheek when he picks him up and Dean sits on his hip.

“Cold.” Dean whispers quietly, as if he is afraid to speak. Castiel strokes over the wet hair again and nods. He is not only glad that Dean is actually speaking, but that he is even admitting, he is not feeling well.

“We will fix that, I promise.” Castiel says and he leaves the room, Dean still on his hip. Dean seems surprised when Castiel starts walking but he does curl his legs around Castiel’s waist and holds onto him.

They make a short stop at the bathroom and Dean looks around, as if he was never here before. Sam is nowhere to be found, probably in his own room already, trying to understand all of this.

“Okay baby. Sit down here.” Castiel says and sits Dean down on the counter. Dean seems confused for a moment, but at least he doesn’t start to cry again. Castiel boops his nose, because he can’t help himself.

This time Dean does smile.

“I’m gonna get you all clean, you’ll see.” Castiel promises and then he takes a washcloth and holds it under the warm water. He cleans Dean’s face very carefully, while he uses his grace to clean the rest of his body. He doesn’t want to scare Dean right now.

“Uff.” Dean makes and Castiel laughs, when he squints down at his own nose, while Castiel brushes the washcloth over his nose. 

“You are way too adorable for your own good.” Castiel whispers and he puts the washcloth away, when Dean’s face is clean again. Dean still holds the tie and by now it’s dirty as well. Castiel opens a cupboard and smiles when he finds Sam’s hair dryer. Perfect.

Dean jerks when Castiel turns the hair dryer on, but when he realizes it’s actually pretty warm, he clasps his hands. For a tiny second Castiel thinks about taking the tie away for now, but he doesn’t want Dean to cry again.

“More?” Dean asks when his hair is clean and dry. Castiel shakes his head and he almost snorts, when he sees how adorably Dean pouts. He almost reaches out and squishes Dean’s cheek but catches himself before he does.

“Not right now. You are tired, right?” Castiel asks just as Dean yawns very cutely and he even rubs over his eyes as he nods. Castiel wishes he could see this Dean more often and he really hopes this wasn’t just a one time thing.

“Sleepy.” Dean mumbles and Castiel uses his grace again to clean Dean’s teeth. He doesn’t want him to get fussy about that right now. Next time… if there was a next time and Castiel really hopes there would be… they would do it together.

“I know. Come here.” Castiel whispers and then picks Dean up again. This time Dean seems a lot more comfortable and even lays his head on Castiel’s shoulder, the tie back in his mouth. 

They wander down the hall to Castiel’s own room and right before it, Castiel stops. He could use his grace and change his boring room into a cute nursery but maybe that would be a bit much for Dean right now.

Heck, he could’ve easily fixed Dean’s dirty bed but tonight he wants him close. Wants to feel that Dean is safe and happy.

So he opens the door and this time he vanishes Dean’s clothes when he puts the boy down on his bed. Dean gasps when the cold air hits his skin, but Castiel just smiles and holds up nice dark pajamas. They only have a few stars on them, but Dean blinks up at him, as if he has never seen anything better.

He pushes Dean on his back and carefully starts to dress him in his new nightwear. Dean seems almost frozen, but at least he doesn’t start to cry again. Embarrassingly it takes Castiel longer than he would’ve thought to wrestle Dean into the pajamas.

When he is done, Castiel almost cooes.

Dean looks so adorable with his now flat and fluffy blond hair, the tiny smile on his face and the pajamas. Castiel can’t help but reach out to him again. Dean closes his eyes again only to yawn loudly. Castiel snorts.

“Okay I get the hint. You wanna sleep, hm?” Castiel chuckles and he uses his grace again, this time to change out of his own clothes and into his own nightwear. Even though he had already lost tie and trench coat, it would probably be more comfortable for Dean, if Castiel wears soft pajamas as well.

“Very good.” Castiel whispers and he helps Dean to roll over onto a pillow. Dean cuddles into the bed and just as Castiel wants to tuck him into a warm blanket, he sees his tie. Before Dean takes it into his mouth again, he takes it away.

Dean gasps loudly and before Castiel even understands what is happening, Dean is tearing up again.

“Nooo!” 

“Aw Baby, but that is just… _my_ tie. I’ll give you something better.” Castiel sighs inwardly he had almost let a name slip, that for sure would’ve scared Dean for now. Maybe some other time he would have the chance.

“G-gimme?” Dean asks, while he holds out both hands and tries to reach the tie. Castiel shakes his head and Dean looks so upset at that, Castiel feels as if his own heart is breaking.

“What do we say?” Castiel asks, smiling a bit, because it seems as if the question confuses Dean for a tiny second. At least he had stopped crying and seems to think about something very hard. It’s too cute for this world.

“Please?” Dean whispers and he bats his eyelashes. Castiel snorts.

“Good boy. But I still can’t give you my tie. I still need it and right now it’s pretty yucky anyway, huh?” Castiel explains and just as Dean looks as if he would start to cry again, Castiel holds up his hand.

“But I have something else for you, Dean.” Castiel says and he throws the tie away. He would clean it later, instead he holds both his hands behind his back and grins. Dean just watches him, clearly not sure what to make out of the situation.

“What’s your favorite animal, baby boy?” Castiel asks and at least he is glad that Dean doesn’t react negative to those nicknames. Dean shrugs a bit.

Castiel thinks about it himself. He knows Dean is rather scared of snakes or spiders. Maybe he is also still afraid of dogs or wolves, because of the hellhound? Cats are also out, Dean made himself very clear when he said he doesn’t want a cat in the bunker.

“Bee?” Dean asks shyly while he points at Castiel and the angel snaps out of his thoughts.

“A bee? That’s my favorite animal, you’re pretty clever huh.” Castiel says and Dean smiles, before he whines quietly and then points at himself.

“No, mine!” Dean says and Castiel’s chest aches. How could Dean ever think that he doesn’t deserve the whole world? Castiel chuckles and then he has the perfect idea. Both hands firmly behind his back, he uses his grace again.

“Okay then, I guess I have just the thing for you! A bee for my honeybee!” Castiel says happily and holds a soft yellow baby blanket up. There is a cute bee plushie stitched onto it and Dean’s eyes grow even wider in amazement.

Once again Dean holds his hands up, this time way more uncertain, so Castiel doesn’t torture him anymore and gives him the blanket. Dean gasps quietly, when he feels how soft it is and then he is already pressing it against his cheek. 

“Thank you.” Dean whispers and this time the tears spill over. Castiel almost panics, but then he understands. This time Dean isn’t sobbing in this heartbreaking way, no he quietly sniffles into the blanket, because he is happy.

“Aww anything for you my sweet boy.” Castiel says and he pats Dean’s warm thigh in the pajamas. Dean shakes his head, but at least he doesn’t protest loudly, like his adult-self would.

Dean closes his eyes again, holding onto the blanket with both hands and Castiel realizes, they both really need some quiet time now. He tugs Dean in and then lays down beside him. Dean doesn't even react to that, but Castiel can see how red his cheeks are.

“Night my little angel.” Castiel whispers and when he leans over Dean once more, he sees that he is already fast asleep. Of course there is one corner of the blanket firmly in his mouth. Castiel carefully tugs it free and replaces it with a pacifier. 

The small sucking sound Dean makes, is the best thing Castiel ever heard and for the first time since he was once human, Castiel falls asleep.

  


*

  


Sadly waking up isn’t as peaceful.

“What the fuck!” Dean says loudly and Castiel’s eyes snap open the very second, Dean throws his pacifier to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be aware that Castiel is awake, because the angel sees the longing gaze towards the pacifier on the ground, while he sits on the edge of the bed.

“You want me to wash out your mouth for that kind of language?” Castiel asks, while he sits up and he can see how Dean freezes. There is a moment where he can easily see that Dean isn’t sure what to do now that Castiel is awake.

“No.” Dean says and Castiel snorts, when he sees that Dean crosses his arms and even sticks his lower lip a bit out. He even has some childish tendencies, while he is not fully in his little space.

“Then maybe you get your butt back to bed again and apologize for using those bad words.” Castiel says and he hopes he still sounds very calm, even though his heart is racing by now. He isn’t sure how Dean reacts.

For now the hunter just turns around towards him and looks as if he had seen a ghost. No, like a little kid that sees a Ghost, because normally Dean only reacts with anger towards them.

“No…” Dean says again, this time he sounds unsure, his eyes looking down at the blanket. Castiel thinks about holding the bee blanket out for Dean again, that is still next to him, but maybe that would be too much.

“Okay, now that I’m awake, we should talk.” Castiel finally admits, when Dean is quiet for a few minutes. He still doesn’t seem fully out of his headspace by now, but Castiel wants to try it anyway.

“Why?”

Castiel is surprised how sharp Dean’s voice sounds. Nothing like the adorable and soft way Castiel had heard yesterday. No, there is some frustration and anger in it and Castiel takes a deep breath.

“Why what?” Castiel asks and Dean finally looks at him. His green eyes are wide, his lips so red from biting on it and Castiel’s heart breaks for him.

“Why did you do that yesterday? T-to make fun of me? To humiliate me?! Did Sam see me like this and…. oh god he saw me, right? I think I remember that, what will I even do now? T-this is my home here and I have no one else anymore.” Dean seems to hyperventilate and Castiel is on his feet in seconds.

“Dean, hey. It’s okay. Take a deep breath. Everything will be alright, this will always be your home, Dean. Sam and I would never kick you out, we didn’t make fun of you!” Castiel says again and again but Dean only shakes his head, his hands tight in his hair.

“Why? Why? Why?”

Castiel isn’t sure what to do. He had never seen Dean like this. This is so much worse than anything he had ever seen and Castiel panics himself.

“Baby Boy.” Castiel whispers and finally Dean stops. He still looks very frustrated but maybe he had heard how shaky Castiel’s voice sounds. Dean slides down the bed and sits on the ground, Castiel kneels in front of him.

“Why?” Dean asks again and this time Castiel takes his hands tight into his own ones, so Dean wouldn’t hurt himself anymore. Castiel smiles sadly.

“Because I love you. I love you when you’re hunting a monster, or when you make food for Sam. I love you when you’re little and need someone to take care of you.” Castiel says and now Dean tears up.

Castiel is afraid that he uses the wrong words, because Dean sniffles, while even more tears fall out of those beautiful green eyes.

“N-not even my M-mom…” Dean starts and Castiel shakes his head. He knows what Mary had said to Dean and while she meant it in another way as Dean understands, he also understands why Dean is so hurt and angry.

“It’s okay Baby. Really, me and Sam are here and I will always stay with you. And if you need this Dean, if you _like_ this, I’d be very happy to care for you.” Castiel says and he strokes through Dean’s hair.

Dean continues to cry, this time into his hands. His shoulders are shaking badly, but Castiel just waits it out. Dean will know when he will be ready and Castiel would be there.

“C-can I have my bee, please?” Dean asks, when he calms a bit down and Castiel’s heart breaks for him. It seems like Dean is testing, if Castiel really means it. The angel gets up and takes the blanket, so he can give it to Dean.

“Sure, Baby. If you ask so nicely.” Castiel answers and Dean gulps loudly again, more tears fall, but he takes the bee with shaking fingers. Castiel smiles warmly at him and when Dean understands he isn’t laughed _at_ , he relaxes.

“Thank you.” Dean mumbles into the blanket and Castiel chuckles.

“Such a polite boy, hm? So you ready for the day or do you want to stay here for a bit?” Castiel asks and Dean holds up two fingers. Castiel nods and then uses his grace to dress himself for the day.

He only leaves his trenchcoat off.

“Okay, if you need me, I will be in the kitchen.” Castiel says, before he leaves. He even uses his grace once more to put some of Dean’s adult clothes on the bed. Dean could decide himself if he wants to continue this.

Castiel knows he would be sad to never see the little boy again, but Dean’s comfort comes first. The angel just wanted to let him know that he would support him, but in the end only Dean can decide what happens now.

“Cas? Where’s Dean?” Sam asks, when he sees that the angel enters the kitchen alone. Castiel sits down and smiles a bit tightly.

“In my room. He is thinking about… his situation and if he even wants for it to happen again.” Castiel admits and even he can hear how important this is for him. For him it’s not even unusual.

He knows everything about humans, even if it doesn’t always seem that way. He likes to learn more and maybe there was a day or two, where he had wished to do some human things as well.

Things like this. Castiel sighs.

“Oh okay. I read up on it and… well I won’t judge him, if he is worried about that. I mean sure he was already a handful under that spell, but then again he is always a handful. And I guess we have seen weirder stuff…” Sam rambles on and Castiel only nods. His thoughts are still with Dean.

“I think he really needs this. Not always, but sometimes. It could be a nice break between hunts and… I’m just really worried.” Castiel says and he looks down at his fingertips. Sam nods and then puts a mug down in front of Castiel.

Castiel takes a rather big sip, while Sam sits down on the opposite side from him. He seems a bit lost for words and Castiel can’t even blame him. It just came out of nowhere and still now it makes a lot of sense.

“He… he always had this soft side, you know? Uh when we were kids, Dad was always a bit rough with him, not… not because he hated Dean or whatever, Dad adored him, but Dean… he grew up way too soon.” Sam says and apparently his thoughts had went into the same direction as Castiel’s.

“I can imagine, I saw some of his memories in hell. It’s just that I have always liked to take care of him. Whether he was sick or hurt, my grace is happier when I’m close. I’m afraid I like this too much. I had always seen some sign that he is… is more.” Castiel explains and he feels frustrated with himself. 

Sam blinks.

“What do you mean?” Sam asks and Castiel drinks a bit more of his coffee. 

“The way he sometimes looks. How excited he gets over toys, or children’s movies. The way he eats like a pig. Sure he always thinks that he has to protect us both more than anything, but other times he looks happy when we take the lead.” Castiel answers and this time Sam nods slowly.

“In the end it doesn’t matter why he needs it. Just… if he needs it, I will be there for him and I hope he knows that.” Sam whispers and Castiel has to smile. He is so glad that Sam isn’t really freaking out.

“Me too.” Castiel says and snorts. Somehow he had also known that Sam is more of a caretaker, just like himself.

“C-Cas?” 

Castiel looks up and sees Dean in the doorway. He is still wearing his adorable footie pajamas and holding onto his bee. He looks so scared. Castiel wishes that he never has to see him like this again.

“‘s okay?” Dean mumbles shyly and Sam waves a bit at him. Dean frowns but doesn’t say anything.

“Of course it is, Baby. Are you hungry?” Castiel asks and Sam gets up to put some pancakes on the table. Dean’s tummy rumbles very loudly and he nods, peeking up at them through his eyelashes.

“Y-Yeah.” Dean admits and when Castiel waves him over, he finally waddles into the room. His eyes still locked on Sam, while he wants to sit down next to Castiel. The angel ignores that and just pulls Dean on his lap.

“Uh huh.” Dean gasps but at least he doesn’t struggle, even though his face is a deep shade of red by now. Castiel resists to press a kiss to his cheek, because that would probably embarrass Dean even more.

“I have some pancakes for you Dean.” Sam says and his voice had changed to a soft childish one. Castiel has to smile, because he can see that Sam really tries. Dean doesn’t seem to know what to do. 

“It’s okay, Honeybee, you can answer Sammy, hm? He is still your brother.” Castiel whispers into Dean’s ear. Dean’s eyes widen a bit and he gasps, but doesn’t make another sound. Sam’s smile turns a bit sad.

When Dean remains quiet, still gaping at Sam, the now older brother just turns around and puts a pancake on a new plate. Dean watches him the whole time, his blanket tight in his grip. Castiel strokes over his head.

“Here you go, sports.” Sam says and pushes the plate towards Dean. This time Dean gasps again, but it sounds a lot more happy. The pancake has cream and strawberries on it, but now it looks like a smiling face.

“Uh!” Dean says and then giggles loudly at the face. Castiel has to laugh, because it looks a bit deformed, but you can still clearly recognize it. Dean has his hands over his mouth, half hiding behind his blanket but he is really laughing.

Sam looks incredible relieved and Castiel knows his face looks very similar. 

“Thank you Sammy.” Dean says, when he stopped giggling, his whole face is still a deep red, but he seems a bit more relaxed. Dean doesn’t look at Sammy, but takes a strawberry and pops it into his mouth.

“And is it good?” Castiel wants to know and Dean nods. Normally he only ever eats fruit in pie, but he seems to like this as well. Castiel continues to stroke his back, while Dean eats the fruits, smearing it all over his face.

“Yah! Sammy is the bestest.” Dean says, shyly looking up at Sam this time and Castiel thinks he does this on purpose now. It doesn’t matter though, because Sam is smiling so widely and then he even ruffles Dean’s hair.

What normally would’ve ended in a huge screaming fight, makes Dean giggle again and when Sam holds up his hand for a high-five Dean happily gives it to him. 

“Okay I hear you, baby. But now you eat the pancake too, hm?” Castiel says and he puts his arms around Dean to cut the pancake into tiny pieces. Dean squirms a bit on his seat, until he can kiss Castiel’s cheek.

It’s a loud noise and Castiel probably has strawberry juice on his cheek now, but he doesn’t think he was ever this happy. Dean chuckles again, waiting for Castiel to finish cutting the pancake.

“Bestest… uh Cas?” Dean asks and grabs one of the tiny pieces. He pops it happily into his mouth and hums loudly. There is already cream on his nose and Castiel just has to smile at him. He had never seen anyone cuter. 

“Whatever you want me to be, Dean.” Castiel answers and Dean’s eyes turn a bit bigger at that. Seems like he hadn’t thought Castiel would give him such an answer. Dean thinks about it for a moment longer, before he nods and continues to eat.

Sam is grinning into his own mug and when Dean doesn’t look at Castiel anymore, the angel has to smile himself. 

“Dean, we just want you to know, we’re here either way. Big or little. And… if you want to be big later, we won’t stop you.” Sam says and turns so serious so quickly. Dean doesn’t stop eating, but he is nodding again. 

Just as Castiel wants to ask him for an actual answer, Dean burps a bit and puts the plate away. There is still some of his pancake left, but Castiel is glad he ate at least something.

“Thank you.” Dean whispers and then he strokes over his eyes. He cries quietly this time and then turns around in Castiel’s lap and hides his face. Castiel shushes him and strokes through Dean’s hair.

“Did I say something wrong?” Sam asks and looks so worried again. Castiel shakes his head, while he puts his arms around Dean. The boy cries a bit louder at that, but also snuggles closer.

“No, but he didn’t sleep much and I think it’s all a bit overwhelming, maybe we should put Baby Dean down for a nap, huh?” Castiel says and the last part is directed at Dean himself, who only wails a bit more.

Sam snorts and then cleans the table, while Castiel gets up, carrying Dean as if he weighs nothing and walks towards his room. Dean holds tightly onto his blanket and slowly calms down, when Castiel bounces him a bit. 

“No nap!” Dean says, when they enter Castiel’s room. Castiel chuckles and just puts Dean on his bed, before he snaps his fingers once. 

Dean didn’t see what happened, because he put his bee over his face and seems to ignore Castiel now. The angel smiles to himself and then quietly undresses, Dean. There is some of the cream all over his pajamas. 

“Noo, please!” Dean squeals only seconds later, when Castiel tickles his sides a bit. It’s not Dean’s usually beautiful laugh, this feels even better. It sounds like a little boy squealing in delight and Castiel can’t help but press a kiss to Dean’s tummy. 

Dean almost shrieks at that.

“Now be a good boy and let me change you.” Castiel says, when Dean can breath again. This time Dean rubs over his eyes, yawning and Castiel smiles down at him. He knew it. Maybe Dean would be big after that nap, but he probably needs the nap now.

“kay.” Dean whispers and Castiel changes his pajamas to a new, even softer, one. It looks adorable on Dean, but then again, so would everything. This pajama is a soft green and has a cloverleaf on the tummy and ears on the hood. Just like a care bear.

“There we go, Baby.” Castiel says and closes the pajama. There would be another time to talk with Dean about diapers and things like that. For now Castiel is just so happy to be allowed to see this side of Dean.

Castiel doesn’t think humanity can provide something better than this boy in his arms.

“Sleep now?” Dean asks, when he realizes he is finished. Castiel nods and pulls him back up. Dean puts his head on Castiel’s shoulder and his thumb finds his way into his mouth. Castiel ignores that for now.

Instead he walks over to the once free space next to his bed. Dean’s eyes turn wide again, when he sees what stands there. Castiel grins and puts Dean into the new crib. Dean is way too perplexed to do anything.

“Wha?” He asks and pats the mattress. Memory foam of course, Castiel isn’t a monster. Otherwise it’s really just a huge crib. Dean looks almost lost in it.

“This is for you, Baby. Another time we will talk about more of your needs and wants when you're my sweet baby boy, but for now I think we should start with this.” Castiel says and Dean looks around.

There is a big and fluffy pillow in the crib, along with a matching blanket. Dean makes no move to tuck himself in, but he doesn’t need to. Dean puts his bee blanket down and looks at the other two plushies in his bed.

“T-this is too much.” Dean stutters out, but he takes the dinosaur and the shark into his hand, tearing up again. Castiel leans over the crib and strokes through Dean’s hair again. He would get him the moon, if Dean asked for it.

“It’s not. Now lean back, hm?” Castiel whispers and Dean really lays down and Castiel tucks him in. He even presses a kiss to Dean’s forehead, watching Dean’s eyes flutter shut. 

Just as Dean wants to put his thumb back into his mouth, Castiel lets a pacifier appear and puts it into Dean’s mouth, who suckles happily. Castiel can’t help but stare lovingly down at Dean, as the door opens.

“Oh good, you’re still here.” Sam says and walks over to them. Dean blinks up at his brother, but he seems half-asleep already. Castiel sits down on his bed, right next to Dean’s crib and Sam sits down there as well.

“Sammy.” Dean mumbles.

“I’m here little brother.” Sam answers easily and Castiel knows exactly how much the words mean to the both of them. Dean had said them so many times before and he will say it again, they all know that.

But for now he can let go and let Sam and Castiel handle everything. 

“I just wanted to say goodnight.” Sam says and then he holds up a small book. Castiel chuckles at that and the next ten minutes he and Dean listen to a story about an adventure about a little prince.

Sam even does different voices for the characters and Dean giggles through the whole story. Castiel finds himself smiling the whole time as well. Just as the prince frees the little dragon, Dean’s eyes drop a lot more often.

“It’s okay, Baby boy. We’re here.” Castiel whispers and Dean nods. Sam gets up to let Dean sleep and Castiel follows him quietly to the door. 

“Night Dean.” Sam says and Castiel turns off the light. There are some stars on the ceiling, only shining for Dean.

Just as they both want to leave, Dean quietly speaks up again.

“Night, Sammy. Night Daddy.” Dean says and Castiel’s heart stops for a minute. Sam chuckles and with another good-bye he leaves. Castiel turns back to the crib and he has the feeling to tear up.

“Night my Honey Bee.”

Sure it would be still a long way. Dean would for sure not always behave like this and throw temper tantrums at them. Maybe they would fight and bicker as adults and cry or laugh as Daddy and son. Maybe break things and draw on walls. 

They would make mistakes and learn together as well.

Castiel can’t wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://notfunnydean.tumblr.com)


End file.
